Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It's that time of year again where I like to pause, look back at the year I had and look forward to not only the New Year, but what God has in store for me. This time last year though, I did not have the same mentality as I do now and it always brings to mind on if people can really change. Not just on the surface, because my hair did get darker this year, but deep down. Has the gospel brought real and lasting change into my life over the course of the year? The answer is, yes. Not only can people change, they do. Jesus came so that human beings who were stuck would not be stuck anymore. Earlier this year I was struggling and loneliness had this grip on me that I could not get rid of. I began to look for happiness in the party crowd by frequenting places where I could drink and dance - thinking if I hung out at these places long enough I'd meet people who would take that loneliness away. Happiness though was an illusive term because, the time I was happy did not make up for the majority of the time I was feeling miserable. By putting myself out there and feeling rejected, it just left me depressed beyond belief. I was stuck in this lonely, depressed funk that only Jesus could get me out of. His work on the cross targets our hearts - our core desires and motivations - when our hearts change, everything we do changes too. The loneliness and lack of peace I had experienced before began to leave. It was replaced with peace and joy I know now only Jesus can give. I found myself surrounded with a whole new set of friends, and the loneliness was also replaced with the hunger and thirst I now had to grow in Christ. I came to realize that no man could give me what I really stood in need of, which was the peace and security of knowing who I am in Christ Jesus. Whether I live or die, I know I have eternal life in Him, and through Him. By reflecting on this last year, it has been amazing to see how Christ saved me when I was stuck in a pattern of words, choices, and behavior - and beginning my new life in Christ, with a changed heart.
We believe the bright promise of the new covenant is a changed heart. When the Bible talks about the gift of a new heart, it doesn't mean the the heart is immediately perfected, but a heart is capable of being changed. Our heart of stone, which cannot be molded, becomes a heart of flesh, which is now malleable.
Knowing that the grace of Christ is sufficient not only because I have changed, but others as well, it shows us how shockingly honest and hopeful the Bible is at the same time. God knows how ugly, messy, disastrous, and hurtful life can be. He puts the promise of real personal change - that's an amazing combination!! The hope doesn't compromise the honesty, and the honesty doesn't diminish the hope.
In the beginning of my personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Creator, there were times where I got stuck. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I continued to do it anyways. It's a struggle though that I've learned we all experience. Noticing what powerful grip sin still has on us can be discouraging, because it was for me at times. But when you read Paul in Romans chapters 7 and 8, you see that it's his struggle that keeps him humble and reminds him of how dependent he is upon Christ. At the end of Romans 7 he says, "Oh wretched man that I am! Who can save me?" Then he launches into Romans 8 and talks about the gospel. God uses our struggle with sin to remind us of our daily, moment-by-moment need of grace. Change happens as we learn humility and dependence on Jesus.
Though our struggle is so intense and because we are often blind to ourselves, we need a community. The first month or so when I first started attending Church this year, I was riding it solo. I was trying to do it all on my own, but then God so faithfully and lovingly gave to me Cru to help me on my journey.
I can honestly say I never knew how precious and fulfilling a relationship with others could be when Christ is the center of each of our lives. God is willing to make community with us, as messed up as we are. We don't turn Him off or drive Him away. But God moves towards us in mercy and grace and wraps His redemptive arms of love around us and changes us. To do that He uses His community - God has an amazing way of using broken, messed up people. We need people in our lives to give us sight. That's why humble, honest, approachable relationships with other people are SO important. With people from Cru and my Church, I have this community of people whom Christ gave me to help me on my journey and can go to in a time of need.
- B
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