a lot has changed since this time last year.
last year, i was a completely different person treating life like it meant nothing.
i was lonely, seeking attention, and something more among the “party crowd” - it left me with the feeling of tired from feeling rejected. i believed that spending my free time at places where i could drink and dance would bring me the peace and happiness i had been longing for. i soon discovered that “happiness” became an illusive term. the few times i was happy did not make up for most of the time i was miserable. earlier last year I found myself getting into trouble by the decisions I was making that left me thinking – why me? I couldn’t help but focus all my energy on all the negative things that continued to occur in my life that left me depressed beyond belief. I came to the realization my life was going nowhere. Ever get that feeling? It’s an ever-present feeling that makes you wonder why you’re here on earth. Why can everyone else be happy, but not me? I had never felt so low in my life and there were times where suicide seemed to be the one and only answer to get me out of everything I had been experiencing and feeling.
that was until late last summer when it all changed for me. after years and years of telling myself i wouldn’t go back, i did. i found myself, every Sunday, sitting off on the far left side of the Church, alone, listening to the Sermon and what God had to say.
i’m not going to sugar coat it and say my journey with Christ has been easy - because, it hasn’t. i was alone in the beginning, trying to find ways to learn more about the Lord and what the Bible had to say. i had met with one of the Pastors every so often and he not only helped me open my eyes to what i was so blind to before, but he also encouraged me to pursue this personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Creator.
I asked Him to not only be my Savior, but to be the Lord of my life. Lordship, I was soon to learn, was not obtainable without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
The loneliness and lack of peace I had experienced before began to leave. It was replaced with peace and joy I know now only Jesus can give. I found myself surrounded with a whole new set of friends, and the loneliness was also replaced with the hunger and thirst I now had to grow in Christ. I came to realize that no one could give me what I really stood in need of, which was the peace and security of knowing who I am in Christ Jesus. Whether I live or die, I know I have eternal life in Him, and through Him. Jesus Christ is my closest friend. Problems and suffering drive me to Him – not away from Him. And He always rescues me. His Spirit always comforts me.
Since I have decided to seek my Heavenly Father and please Him through this personal relationship with Jesus Christ, by being obedient to His commands in the Bible, He has been so faithful in my life in adding those things that I had so deeply desired within my heart. One of those desires was to build and maintain with relationships in my life. By meeting people who loved Jesus Christ more than anyone or anything else, people I could share Christ with – not about.
It has been about a four-five months now since I made my decision to live for Jesus and most of that time it has been with people who God so faithfully and lovingly gave to me to help me on my journey. I can honestly say I never knew how precious and fulfilling a relationship with others could be when Christ is the center of each of our lives. I thank God so much for His faithfulness in answering my prayers and helping me in a time of need.
For those of you who have a lack of peace, who fear dying, have something missing, who have no real meaning or purpose in life, or experience loneliness and sense a lack of motivation – I delight in saying that Jesus Christ desires to come and fill those voids in your life. But it requires that you let Him have total control of your life. That may seem scary or threatening to some people, but it shouldn’t. John chapter 1 assures us that Jesus Christ is the one who made you.
If this has touched you in any way, please don’t go on in life without searching for answers to your questions. My questions brought me to see and realize that only Jesus Christ is the answer to all of my needs. I never knew I could be so free within myself, and it’s all because I decided to follow Jesus – letting Him make me into the person He wants me to be – in His image and for His glory.
- B
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